I.
Since the warm Chicago weather has rolled in, and since beard is now in full force, strangers and acquaintances alike have started asking me, "Aren't you hot in beard?" I hear this constantly.
I'm not sure why people seem to think that wearing beard suddenly transforms your face into an insane furnace. This is simply not true. I don't notice much of a difference.
There is a chance, however, that my chin is actually sweating incredibly. This sweat might be instantly absorbed by beard. I would never know.
II.
Earlier this year, with the Chicago winter in full force, and since I stupidly decided to shave beard, I experienced phantom beard. This occurred mostly on my chin. Winter winds brushed past my chin and gave me the sensation that my chin was there, but something was amiss. To ponder this I stroked beard. I grasped an inch below my chin and found not-beard. Beard was gone. Who knows where. I took stock in knowing old beard had been spread throughout Chicago. Perhaps farther than Chicago.
Some of beard wound up in the garbage.
Some of beard must still be on my bathroom floor.
Some of beard went down the bathroom sink. Who knows where it went after that.
III.
Before I shaved beard, some of beard must have surely wound up in the CTA trains. Some on the Metra. I imagine when I flew out to New York, I left some beard my airplane seat. Then some beard at that remarkable Korean barbecue restaurant. Then some beard at the Met. Then some beard on that couch I was sleeping on.
Oddly, beard has been lots of places.
IV.
I got to thinking. Beard has been lots of places. Then again, so has arm hair, so has leg hair & so has toe hair (less likely but who knows). Eyebrows, eyelashes, knuckle hairs, belly hairs, shoulder hairs, neck hairs, pit hairs, all hairs.
All hairs have been lots of places.
Beard or no beard, we all leave our mark. No matter how seemingly insignificant it may appear.
Since the warm Chicago weather has rolled in, and since beard is now in full force, strangers and acquaintances alike have started asking me, "Aren't you hot in beard?" I hear this constantly.
I'm not sure why people seem to think that wearing beard suddenly transforms your face into an insane furnace. This is simply not true. I don't notice much of a difference.
There is a chance, however, that my chin is actually sweating incredibly. This sweat might be instantly absorbed by beard. I would never know.
II.
Earlier this year, with the Chicago winter in full force, and since I stupidly decided to shave beard, I experienced phantom beard. This occurred mostly on my chin. Winter winds brushed past my chin and gave me the sensation that my chin was there, but something was amiss. To ponder this I stroked beard. I grasped an inch below my chin and found not-beard. Beard was gone. Who knows where. I took stock in knowing old beard had been spread throughout Chicago. Perhaps farther than Chicago.
Some of beard wound up in the garbage.
Some of beard must still be on my bathroom floor.
Some of beard went down the bathroom sink. Who knows where it went after that.
III.
Before I shaved beard, some of beard must have surely wound up in the CTA trains. Some on the Metra. I imagine when I flew out to New York, I left some beard my airplane seat. Then some beard at that remarkable Korean barbecue restaurant. Then some beard at the Met. Then some beard on that couch I was sleeping on.
Oddly, beard has been lots of places.
IV.
I got to thinking. Beard has been lots of places. Then again, so has arm hair, so has leg hair & so has toe hair (less likely but who knows). Eyebrows, eyelashes, knuckle hairs, belly hairs, shoulder hairs, neck hairs, pit hairs, all hairs.
All hairs have been lots of places.
Beard or no beard, we all leave our mark. No matter how seemingly insignificant it may appear.
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